Look back and you'll find me there

Today I had the biggest flashback.

This afternoon, I was standing in the middle of the road, and there were loads of people, just standing around. The sun wasn't shining through, but still I went back to a day when sun was shining so bright and so hot I could barely stand. I've been remembering days when I was back in college. And this one day came to mind. It wasn't exactly a special day. But it still came to me.

It was a weekend. Most likely a Saturday. My best friend and I decided to take a walk around because it was a beautiful day. And we thought that we could try a different route to town. We came to a road, and it was literally packed. With people. People walking around, sitting down. Just hanging out. Like there was some sort of festival going on, but there wasn't. It was just a beautiful day that everybody wanted to enjoy it as much as we did. But nevertheless, my friend and I were shocked to see so many. No cars were passing by. Not even any bikes going through. Everybody was just lounging on that long stretch of road. Music blared from every corner we walked by, and some people were actually dancing. Their enthusiasm was catching. It was like a burst of life, I guess. Like I hadn't seen so many people acting so free with themselves. So free to express themselves. It was overwhelming in it's way. I loved every second of it.

I don't get a lot of memory flashes. Sometimes I think once something happens, I tend to forget it over time and it hardly ever comes back to me. Like my childhood. I really cannot remember a thing about it apart from few scarce moments. Not even my days in primary school or secondary school. I see pictures of myself with classmates or schoolmates, and I think to myself that I don't know who she is. This person I apparently was.

It may be my biggest regret. Not knowing who I used to be. Not knowing who I was. I can only take comfort in knowing who I am now. I don't think I can make any expectations on who I will be, but for right now, I know who I am. I know the thoughts that run through my head. I know the emotions that my soul experiences. I know them all, and that makes it okay.