You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget you

A few days ago, it was my ex's birthday. I remembered only on the day itself, but it kind of explained some parts of why she's been on my mind alot lately. Why her face comes to me in dreams that are just never-ending. And it just, hurts. It pains me all over, fresh and bleeding out. Sometimes I can't handle that. I want to bury her deep down with every day that passes by.

Every time I see her face, I feel that little bit of progress being chipped away. And it just annoys me greatly.

What annoys me even more is that this is great fodder for my writing.

Stupid writer's need for angst.

Apart from that, things are steadily getting better the past couple of days. Taking time out for myself has been good and proved easier to get back into. Had to start locking my door so that nobody comes in and disturbs me. It feels good being in my own company and knowing that nobody's going to come barging in because really, not a lot of seem to understand the concept of knocking and waiting for the person to say "Come in" before actually coming inside.

Taking time out to meditate again does help too.

Anyway.

My niece's 1st birthday is coming up and I don't really know what I'm going to get her since she doesn't show much interest for anything except the TV's remote control though she doesn't actually watch TV, lol. Well, the thing she does show the most interest in, is food, lol. That's the thing about 1st birthdays, because they're half about the kid, and half about the parents. I figure I'll get something for her, and something for my brother and sister-in-law.

My cousin's 1st birthday is also coming up, before my niece's birthday. I have no idea what to get him either, lol. My sister would definitely be better at this than me. I'm looking forward to her visit. It'd just be good to have somebody to talk to at home. Somebody who actually appreciates space as I do.

Oh, The L Word coming back on the 18th January. Mark that date. Because from the spoilers and trailers, this season looks like a doozy.