There is no better thing than comfort when you didn't know how much you needed it.

These past few weeks have been mounting up to something volcanic. Inside of me, I don't know. It's like you don't realise how much you keep inside of you until it erupts. How much you keep inside because you're pushing it down for someone else, everyone else. And I'm disappointed with myself about that because I thought I was over that. It's proven to be a hard habit to break.

But I talked to a friend of mine the other day, and she helped me. She let me go on and on about the things that has been bothering me, without giving much comment. I felt so... relieved. And it just reminded me of how much I have forgotten about myself. I very nearly forgot my own priorities. I think in the deepest part of me, I knew it and I had been acting on that upset. Not as much as I probably could. Because I know getting angry wouldn't help. Because I know I would end up saying things I may mean, but would end up unnecessarily hurting a lot of people. I may be all for being honest with friends and family, but I learned that the right time to say most things is not in anger/fear. I learned to pick my battles, when to get in there and when to take a step back. I learned when not to poke at a bleeding wound.

It is nobody's fault though. Sure, there have been a few people that have annoyed me to a point where I want to renounce my non-violence streak. Like I said, it's been building up. And if anything, people have just been poking me at the wrong times, and that's not their fault that they didn't know. But if there were those that did not know, and kept poking at it anyway, then I don't know what to say really. I'm not really a revenge kind of person so it's not like I'd be doing it anytime soon. Everything takes it's due course eventually.

It's like we placed a card on top of another and then another, and before we know it, we made a house. It's letting somebody take the wheel without even really realising it. It's travelling on that part of my consciousness where I start doing something the one minute and next thing I know, it's two months later and I'm still doing the same thing.

What kind of life is that?